The Things We Say


Were,that we would lead lives with things said & done.

I was walking hurriedly to catch up to two lady friends. Well. More like friendly acquaintances,but one of them, I have always said to myself,is my close friend.

They were up ahead and headed to the club. Funny thing is, one does not drink,but I say to myself that the reason she goes out is she loves having company.

The other,my friend, was deep in a juicy personal story about her escapades and both were giggling like teenagers by the time I caught up.

The fact was,that even though I say to myself we are friends,there are things she would never say, say, said juicy story, and I was delighted at having a glimpse of this side I had always been interested in, but always told myself we could never talk about.

Isn’t that a Pandora’s Box situation right there?do I really want to say things about myself as well?

In any case the giggles cascaded and the story subtly muted as I came astride.

I walked quietly and said to myself that from my glances,they would notice my belated interest in the said story; And much too late I chuckled enthusiastically and said…”what was that about…” when we were drawing up to the club,but alas, the conversation had turned to lighter subjects.

This is an exclusive place, I said to myself.

We ran up the stairs past the garcon,straight to the security draw bridge.

I went up to the lady and asked for admission. My ladies walked by and said…Hey,just come. As they giggled and walked on confidently.
Maybe its free for ladies? I said to myself.

My uncertainities had tied me in by then,and my company was inside. Two beautiful ladies,these places always let the pretty ones in for free,eye candy,I said to myself.

The lady said…” Imejaaa”. And looked on laconically. There isn’t more to be said, I said to myself.
Said I, “Hatuwezi jaribu tu, my friends are in there. At least let me tell them.”
“No. Si uko na simu,wapigie!”,Said she.

The delight of happenstance.

The manager of the club happened to be walking out. Do not ask me how I knew he was the manager, I knew. So I got his attention and sought entry.

As happens in such places,there was a pile up of waiting humans behind me,who couldn’t understand what the issue was.

All Mr.Manager did was pick up his phone and muttered in the general direction of me,the watchwoman and the queue …” Kuna wazungu ndani” as he walked away.

Those mutters may have been “kuna watu wengi ndani” I said to myself. He couldn’t possibly in this day and age of furore over The Chinese Restaurant,Caramel and Art Cafe still have just added his spot to the list of racist establishments?

Well whatever he did say,because he couldn’t possibly have said what I heard him say,I said to myself,my fate is sealed.

I texted the girls that I was gonna headout, and I would see them in the morrow.

This story is filled with the following barriers to living full lives:
1.Things we say to ourselves inside
2.Things we think others are saying to us
3. Things we don’t say.

So many turns in this story are determined by things unsaid,words unspoken,meanings misunderstood,presumptions made.

Were,that we would lead lives with things said & done.

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