Sometimes, Just Listen.


cUT IT OUT

This storo for Kenyan dudes.

When your woman “whines”, sometimes, just listen.

So you are fortunately/unfortunately married to Njeri.

You share dreams and plans, and project number one is a plot you jointly bought in Syokimau.

You both took loans to the hilt to finance the purchase of the property as well as the construction going on.

You are renting and living hand to mouth, but silently looking at others with those machos of …

you guys just wait and see in a few.

Because unlike them, mnajenga.

Na kweli mumejaribu.

A beautiful home you have built, but then you know there are those ngumu things like finishing, fine painting, detail in fixtures, which at this point hamuoni haja… so long as the house is complete, you can move in…the rest as they say mtamaliza mkiwa ndani.

But then of course lethargy and comfort sets in, mshazoea vile nyumba inafanana.

The roughcast remains so. The taps are kinda leaking and for now, you tie that bladaaa to shikilia kidogo. The floor tiles you bought with that bonus is still in the store, as the quote your friend gave for coming to do the workmanship is a bit too much.

In any case the mtoi has checked in, and the attention and priorities are now focused elsewhere. I mean, that child education insurance you just committed to for the kidos education won’t pay itself. Tena the day to day cheddah for the kido wacha tu.

You have already been told by several schools that your child is on a waiting list and they are just not yet sure that two years from today, there will be space for your kido as they give preference to paros with tois already in the shule.

So there you are tired after some mdosi called you and told you what a numbskulled nincompoop you are, coming home to your leaky fauceted half finished place called home.

And Njeri decides to tell you ate midnight how she cannot sleep anymore, because she hates the drip drip of the leaky faucet.

Chick knows for show that you have prioritised all you could.

Chick juas how much you both have strived to get where you are.

Hata she juas the vibe of what the mdosi said leo.

Yet she still has the audacity to tell you about the dripping tap.

KWANI NOW WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? 

Dude listen.

The difference between you and her, is that you are genetically wired to always seek solutions to stuff.

But when a woman speaks to you in that way,she sometimes does not want solutions.

She just wants to be heard. She just wants you to hear out and share her point of view.

Trust me. She is aware, actually way more aware than you are of the shortcomings of the situation you both are in.

As in when she sits with her sis and discuss stuff, the sisters answers to the emotions shared are mostly…” I know what you mean…Ghai…Imagine… That’s so true…Like Really?…Wow… Yeah I know right?…” And you always wonder how they have such conversations coz they do not really seem to discuss stuff, its more about one always agreeing with whatever the other is saying.

Wanaelewana because wanaelewa that sometimes something voiced is not necessarily a search for meaning and solution,it is merely a situation shared.

So don’t jamu and ask her what it is she wants you to do, or give timelines for things that you will not achieve and make false promises. Or define solutions or action perspectives.

You wanna ask eti

” But how am I to know when she wants me to do something.”

Dude. You have never had a problem knowing when she wants you to do something. That’s how you got where you are now, mostly through her direction. You just won’t admit it.

So when she “whines”, sometimes, just listen.

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